SO I GET TO WORK THIS MORNING AND I AM GREETED WITH A PACKAGE FROM NONE OTHER THAN DEBORAH (SPELLING IS INTENTIONAL) J. HILL. IT WAS NOT TICKING (FROM WHAT I COULD HEAR) SO I DECIDED IT WAS SAFE TO OPEN. UPON OPENING IT, I WAS GREETED WITH THE GREATEST BOOK EVER WRITTEN*....WALTER THE FARTING DOG (AS WELL AS WALTER HIMSELF IN THE FORM OF A STUFFED ANIMAL THAT FARTS WHEN SQUEEZED!). AFTER SHOWING OFF WALTER'S BOOK AND HIS ABILITY TO FART-PROPELL HIMSELF INTO FLIGHT (WELL WALTER TOOK CARE OF THE SOUND EFFECTS AND I HELPED LIFT HIM IN THE AIR), PARKER HERE AT THE OFFICE ASKED WHAT NAME WE HAD CHOSEN TO TEACH OUR CHILD WHEN HE OR SHE PASSES GAS, BECAUSE SOME PARENTS BELIEVE THAT SAYING HE OR SHE "FARTED" MIGHT NOT BE AS SOCIABLY ACCEPTABLE AS TERMS SUCH AS POOTERING AND ROOT-TOOT-TOOTING. I DON'T HONESTLY REMEMBER HAVING CONVERSATIONS WITH MY MOM ABOUT THE NAMING OF FARTS, JUST THAT IF I DIDN'T STOP THEM WHEN THEY HAPPENED, I WOULD GET OLDER AND NOT BE ABLE TO CONTROL THEM (DAMN I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO HER!!!). SO I ASK YOU, THE READER....WHAT DO YOU CALL YOUR FARTS?
*THOSE WHO KNOW ME CAN ATTEST THAT MY GREATEST LIST IS NOT BASED NUMERICALLY, SUCH AS GREATEST, THEN 2ND GREATEST, BUT RATHER ON WHAT IS NEWEST...ITS A PRODUCT OF ADD!!
2 comments:
1. two turds talking
I'll have you know that if your baby is anything like ours he/she will be farting like it's going out of style. And they don't sound like tiny little baby farts. They sound like something I personally would be proud of. They come often. They come without warning. We got a farting dog toy, too.
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